


The Roarhaven Institution- Skulduggery Pleasant School AU

by Magical_Mages



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: Highschool AU, Multi, The Dead Men (Skulduggery Pleasant)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25163371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magical_Mages/pseuds/Magical_Mages
Summary: Inspired by overlord-winter on Tumblr.Follow the school life of the most notorious clique/friend group/"cult" Roarhaven has ever known- The Dead Men. In this AU, no one has magic or anything, just their chaotic personalities. Younger characters appear later on. This is purely for fun, expect some fluff and a lot of crack :)Also available on Wattpad (Nicasia_Grey) and Tumblr (Magical-Mages)Open to requests and constructive criticism.Characters belong to Derek Landy.
Relationships: Ghastly Bespoke/Tanith Low, Larrikin/Anton Shudder, Mevolent/Serafina Dey, Valkyrie Cain/Fletcher Renn
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	1. Year One- Chapter One

It was the first day of a new school year and the Roarhaven Institution had a whole new batch of Year Sevens to keep them entertained. Little did they know this year group would grow to be some of the most notorious students the school would ever know. And be the cause of many of the teachers' nervous breakdowns and headaches over the next seven years. For this year group was home of the clique that would soon come to be known as the Dead Men.

*

"-and we have provided sufficient tuck for when you need it. You are to hand over the box to your house master you hear? We do not want you spending your nights eating rather than studying."

"Or sleeping," Skulduggery's mother cut in. "It is imperative you get all the sleep you need at this school, otherwise your grades will suffer. Do you understand?" Skulduggery murmured in response. His father threw a cold look at him "You answer your mother properly, boy." Skulduggery cleared his throat and looked up for the first time since the conversation started. "Yes, Mother. Sorry, Father." His mother nodded, "Better. Now, once we drop you off and have been introduced to your house master we will..." Skulduggery wasn't listening anymore. His eyes were on the monstrosity of a building that was emerging over the hilled horizon. The Roarhaven Institution stood proudly and menacingly over the dainty town around it. The wrought iron gates and the stark towers cast strange shadows over the hilly landscape. Even from here, he could see the little people running around the grounds. Unpacking, setting up, settling in. It was, all together, quite a sight to behold.

Skulduggery almost completely tuned out to what his parents were saying for the remainder of the car journey. By now, he had mastered the art of ignoring them without letting them know he was ignoring them. He nodded and hummed in agreement when it felt necessary and took in the bare minimum of information. Before he was ready, the car had pulled to a stop on the gravelled drive. The driver let them out and Skulduggery did his best to hide behind his hair as his bags were carried towards the boarding house. The house master was a portly man by the name of Corrival Deuce. The house was called Eachan House after the school's headmaster, Eachan Meritorious. Mr Deuce shook their hands warmly and offered Skulduggery's parents a cup of tea. They politely declined, all smiles and small talk now they were in the presence of another adult, and soon took their leave. But not before Mr Deuce commented on what a well-behaved, shy boy Skulduggery was. Oh how he would later come to regret that statement.

Skulduggery was shown to his room by a prefect called Geoffrey Scrutinous. A more ridiculous name Skulduggery hadn't heard. Although one called Skulduggery Pleasant could hardly throw stones. Two of his three roommates were already unpacking and lounging on their beds when he arrived. A mousy haired boy with an unremarkable face barely looked up from the drawer he was filling when Skulduggery entered the dorm. But the boy with mischievous golden eyes gave him a smirk and then continued to lie on his bed and do nothing. Skulduggery packed away his belongings quickly and slid the tuck box he hadn't given to Mr Deuce against his parents' orders under his bed. His roommates should have savoured the sight of his bed space in a tidy state. For it never happened again.

Just as the silence between the three boys was becoming awkward, a fourth boy walked in. He was tall and muscular for a year seven. But even that was not the most outstanding this about him. The deep scars that ran symmetrically down the boy's head and face are what really made him stand out. He glanced around the room nervously, for such a big boy he seemed quite skittish. A man and a woman followed him in and helped him unpack, offering polite smiles and greetings to the boys who quietly returned them. Once the adults left, the boys lapsed into silence once again. Then, a sigh "If you hoes are hoping to spend the whole time in awkward silence," he golden eyed boy spoke, leaping up so he was stood on his bed. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint because that sounds boring as hell. You, book boy," he pointed at the mousy haired kid who was reading something called Percy Jackson "name?" The boy blinked, "Uh, Hopeless."

"Morbid!" the boy chimed happily, he pointed to Skulduggery next "Long haired one?"

"Skulduggery Pleasant."

"Nice. Weird, but nice. And you?" he finally turned to the scarred boy who turned beetroot red "Ghastly Bespoke." he murmured. "Ghastly?" the boy repeated "Did your parents call you that before or after all the scars because that's harsh." Ghastly's embarrassed look turned to a glare which quickly shut the boy up. "Well, I am Erskine Ravel but you may call me "your majesty", "your eminence", "superior being" any of them work."

"Is "annoying brat" on the table?"Skulduggery asked. Erskine gasped and pointed at him dramatically "Blasphemy!" he cried. Skulduggery frowned,"What religion-"

"Oh I feel violated. Someone chop his head off! Get him out of my sight!" he flopped down onto his bed and draped his arm over his forehead. Skulduggery grinned, "Oh please, you're a court jester at best." Erskine gasped again and shot up. "How dare you, good sir! You tarnish the Ravel name!" Skulduggery threw a pillow at him, "Maybe the Ravel name was asking for it. For we all know, I am the true ruler." Erskine ducked too late and the pillow smacked him right in the face. "Outrageous! You, the one they call Ghastly," he whipped round to Ghastly who was doing his best not to laugh "I name you royal executioner, have this imposter beheaded!" Ghastly did his best to fix a serious look on his face, it kept sliding off. "I'm not sure my liege. You both claim to be ruler, how can we know which one of you is the true imposter?" They were all stifling giggles now. Except Hopeless, he looked bored. Skulduggery rose up, "Then a fight to the death must be fought for ultimate and absolute rule over the dorm!"

"Agreed," cried Erskine. "A pillow fight to the death! What better way to crown a monarch? Ghastly, you will referee. Hopeless, you will stand there and look pretty." Skulduggery nodded his agreement, "Hopeless is the damsel in distress." Hopeless glared at them.

Skulduggery and Erskine took up positions on their beds and armed themselves with their pillows. Ghastly stood between them but at a safe distance. He raised a hand and the boys prepared for war. Ghastly hand sliced through the air and Skulduggery and Erskine threw their pillows at the same time. But then Hopeless was in the middle of it all. He caught each pillow in each hand and threw them right back at the two boys. Erskine's pillow caught him square in the chest and Skulduggery's whacked into his face, both boys toppled over. Ghastly froze, Erskine and Skulduggery didn't get up, Hopeless didn't say anything for a moment. Then, he picked a fallen pillow from the floor and raised it above his head. "I am the true king!" he bellowed. The other burst out laughing and quickly fell to their knees in front of him. "All hail the True King!" they chanted. They collapsed into a fit of giggles. None of them were quite sure what had just happened, but they all knew none of them were getting a good night's sleep any time soon.


	2. Year One- Chapter Two

Skulduggery, Ghastly, Erskine and Hopeless laughed and roughhoused all the way down to the dining hall. Skulduggery hadn't had a group of friends before, and he was enjoying it. With these people, he felt he could say all the things he thought when he was with his parents. He didn't have to filter or limit himself anymore. He was finally free. Their antics put them immediately on the radar of the teachers and several older students who really could not be bothered to put up with some loud year sevens. One such student nudged his younger sister as they joined the queue behind the boys. "You stay away from those boys." Bliss muttered to China. China sighed and tossed her raven locks"You should really try reverse psychology you know. Everything you tell me not to do instantly becomes the only thing that I can want to do."

Bliss and China were new to the school but Bliss was already in Year Ten and did not trust anyone around his little sister. Their parents had wanted to send them to some prestigious religious school but Bliss produced a list of fifty reasons why that was a bad idea and even threatened to go on strike. So eventually they caved and sent the siblings to Roarhaven. China, despite only being at school for a day, had already begun gathering "useful" information and gossip on various students and faculty members. She normally would stay away from boys of Skulduggery and Erskine's calibre by her own will but Bliss' disapproval of them had sparked her interest. Now, she was determined to get to know them better. Even if it was just to spite him. So whatever Bliss was trying to achieve backfired spectacularly. Bliss was a tall and solidly built boy who returned any wandering eyes that found their way to his sister's slender figure with a glare that could curdle dairy. He was immediately marked as a guy not to mess with.

The siblings reached the front of the queue and grabbed their trays. The Welcome Back meal this year was roast beef. China fought off the disgust that rose to her delicate features as she accepted the rather sloppy food from the disinterested dinner lady. She finished getting her food before Bliss did, meaning she got to choose where they sat. She shot him a mischievous look as she made her way over to Erskine's table. The boys quietened instantly at the beautiful newcomer, but Erskine recovered his charisma in a blink. China fixed a dazzling smile on her face, "Sorry, do you mind if I sit? My brother's driving me nuts." Erskine grinned back, the others stared down at their food. "Not at all, the name is Erskine Ravel. And who might you be?" Before China could answer, Bliss had taken the seat beside her. She rolled her eyes "And so it appears you're harder to get rid of than I thought. The name is China Sorrows, this is my brother Bliss," Bliss glared at them. "I promise he's secretly glad to meet you. In fact, under the glare he's positively cuddly." Erskine's smile faltered slightly and somehow the atmosphere around the table grew even more tense. Everyone ate silently, their gaze flicking nervously between China and Bliss. Bored, China let her eyes wander around the room. Her fellow Year Sevens were fairly easy to pick out, they were either the small and nervous ones or the loud and overconfident ones. There was another table of equally rowdy boys, the table where her two roommates sat with four serious looking boys and a table of three weird goth kids. All together, a rather bland bunch. 

China pushed the food around on her plate until the teachers ushered them out of the dinner hall. She winked to Erskine, and waved her goodbye to a scowling Bliss. She shared a room with two other girls; Serafina Dey and Eliza Scorn. Both equally regal and equally a pain in the ass. However, they did seem to be the only ones at the school with a fashion sense to rival China's so she forced herself to be nice to them. Serafina was fixing her makeup and Eliza was praying when China returned to the dorm. She flashed a smile to Serafina and ignored Eliza. "You didn't sit with us at dinner, China." Serafina stated daintily. "No," China sighed. "I wanted to annoy my brother but the table I ended up sitting at was not as fun as I had imagined. Quite boring, really." Serafina snapped her mirror shut, "You need to sit with us tomorrow. We sat with the nicest boys, didn't we, Eliza?" Eliza murmured. Serafina sighed dreamily, "One of them was so tall, his name's Mevolent. He's such a sweetheart. Then there was Baron, he was a bit uptight for me but nice nonetheless. And Vile, he was odd. Didn't speak much, I would have expected him to sit with those goth kids but anyway. Then there was Nefarian, he was nice I suppose. Bit weird but then, who isn't these days? Oh and all their parents are influential religious figures! Isn't that great? A whole host of boys whom our mothers and fathers would approve of! And they were practically fawning over us! I'm sure I saw them throw a couple looks your way too." 

"Is that so?" China responded, not really interested. She'd seen the boys they were sat with, they really weren't her type. Although she knew Serafina was at least right about how her parents would approve. They, for whatever reason, didn't seem to think happiness was important in a relationship. Probably because it was so difficult for people like them to find someone as obsessed with the Faceless Ones as they were. The Faceless Ones were the state gods, ancient scriptures told of their terrible and great rule over the Earth eons ago before they were banished to another realm. Nut jobs like Bliss and China's parents seemed to think they should come back. 

The girls spent their evening reading and chatting lightly. Serafina would not stop gushing about that Mevolent boy. Even Eliza had found a boy, Christophe Nocturnal his name was, to obsess over. China found it quite tiresome. They talked about them all the way down to the shower block, and China knew they were thinking about them as they washed too. They removed their makeup, died their hair and headed back to their dorm together. 

The girls floor was relatively quiet, laughs and muffled screams could occasionally be heard from the rooms but all together, nothing too bad. The boys floor was a different story. The girls were quite content ignoring the cacophony above them until it ventured onto their own floor. China looked up from the book she was reading as what sounded like a herd of elephants stampeded past her door. She looked to Serafina who appeared equally frustrated. She decided to pop her head out to tell them to shut up. She opened the door and was greeted to a shoe hurtling through the air to her porcelain face. It hit her right on the nose. She stood there and blinked. The boys who were in the corridor froze and looked at her in horror. She recognized the boys as the ones she sat with and the other rowdy table. A tall, dark haired boy was holding a lanky, ginger boy by the shirt collar. The scarred one was frozen mid wrestle with a boy with dark blonde hair. China opened her mouth, and gave them hell.


End file.
